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Welcome back Franz

Franz

Banned Biker
Jun 5, 2013
31
6
So I just got back from France where I was called to coach on one of the Tour de France teams (Equipe Cycliste FDJ) training camp in the Pyrenees. I am sorry for those that have been PMing me about the local training camps I am running. Don't worry they are still happening so you don't have to worry about the deposit you have already paid.

We had a great week, and some of the guys have some good form, of course they were still struggling to keep up with me.

Since I have been gone I see some good beginner rides have been happening here. I particularly like GSAstupo's ride over Otsuki. It is a shame however that he couldn't do it. But don't worry. I will be able to join and give you some tips to make you a better rider soon. So there is no need to sell your kit and retire just yet. (I see you are selling all your gear after the disappointment of that failure)

OK guys, time to coach some local beginners, talk later.
 
Hi Franz.

Interesting that you should be coaching E.C.FDJ. Any insights as to their nutrition? Always looking to give myself the edge in whatever way possible.
 
I'm sorry they made me sign a non disclosure agreement. But don't worry, they are eating better than you. First thing you need to do is stop eating McDonalds. I cannot believe how many cyclists from America still think it is OK to eat fries. The only hope for you is that you hand in your American passport and beg another country to take you in.

I am happy to write you an endorsement letter to anywhere but Austria.

In the meantime, no Beer, No cola, no ice cream, no nothing you like. Please PM me for my full TDF diet.
 
Hi Franz, glad to see you've taken note of my personal clothing sale. You would be wise to buy some to imbibe the fragrance of a real winner rather than settling for the used knickers I saw you copping in Shibuya. Don't worry, I'll plan another Otsuki ride soon, with chalk marks this time so you don't get lost falling so far off the pace.
 
Tim failing that we could leave boy scout markers using twigs and stones :D
 
I'm more disappointed than excited Fränz. I mean, FDJ, I don't even understand why they are still a pro tour team?!? I was so excited about joining your training camp, but now that feels like getting racing advice from my home town's soccer coach. He also promised to get us to regionals, but we never got the cup.

What is your goal for being in Japan anyways when you can still cling to the dream of being a pro coach by besting riders of a team that should be continental? Maybe they didn't trust your methods/mentality enough to let you near their riders as a permanent coach? So now you try to recruit hobbyists from an online forum for beginner camps? Hint: we already know how to exaggerate our achievements with words and strava tools. And how to tease and belittle each other more smartly.

The Pyrenees or wherever you said you come from don't count here either. We need to know how to fly up Kusatsu, Asami-line, how to ride an 8hr toito or win the maihama crit. And last but not least, before making another self-inflated ego posting, first look up and understand the Japanese concept of tatemae.
 
Ya ya! You guys are pretty funny.

Thanks for the chalk marks, I love the old school style too. My grandfather showed me chalk when i was a boy. So it will be good to ride with old guys that remind me of him.
Don't worry about me keeping up though, I've seen some of the reports from you beginners in the hills here. Ha ha ha! Makes me miss the junior girls I coached in Italy. They would teach you guys a thing or two about climbing. Ha ha.Just jokes!

I love you guys, because you are trying, even when there is no hope you keep trying, that is the great spirit of the cyclist! One pedal at a time, no hope but keep going! We are all together on that one! Beginners like you guys, and pros like me! We are all the same (Except for the no hope part - you can take that out for the pros)
 
Great ideas Gunji (Can I call you Gunji?)

I agree they are quite a hopeless team, That is why they call me in last minute. I made it clear that I wasn't available for any longer. Due to my coaching commitments to someof the local PRO teams who are now chasing me that they have heard that I am in town.

I was just trying to be friendly and offer my skills for you guys because I can see that you are really trying, and mostly failing. So I just want everyone to succeed like I have!

You are right maybe I should look more into local races, but I don't want to show up the local riders too much so I will try to stay in the back ground from now on. I like your idea about tatami. I love green tea and like taking my shoes off before I go inside, so a tatami room is a great idea.


Thanks for your great post, I already picked you out as a guy who had some potential by the way you think, so now I am getting more excited about teaching you some basic bike skills to go with your high intellectual skills.

Thanks for welcoming me with such great advice!

I'm more disappointed than excited Fränz. I mean, FDJ, I don't even understand why they are still a pro tour team?!? I was so excited about joining your training camp, but now that feels like getting racing advice from my home town's soccer coach. He also promised to get us to regionals, but we never got the cup.

What is your goal for being in Japan anyways when you can still cling to the dream of being a pro coach by besting riders of a team that should be continental? Maybe they didn't trust your methods/mentality enough to let you near their riders as a permanent coach? So now you try to recruit hobbyists from an online forum for beginner camps? Hint: we already know how to exaggerate our achievements with words and strava tools. And how to tease and belittle each other more smartly.

The Pyrenees or wherever you said you come from don't count here either. We need to know how to fly up Kusatsu, Asami-line, how to ride an 8hr toito or win the maihama crit. And last but not least, before making another self-inflated ego posting, first look up and understand the Japanese concept of tatemae.
 
Franz,

I have recently moved from being a complete beginner, to being slightly better than a complete beginner. I am not American as you thought, but from the UK, where unlike the Americans we almost enjoy losing. Can you recommend anything that can keep my motivation going at it's current level? I am willing to try anything.
 
... I've seen some of the reports from you beginners in the hills here. Ha ha ha! Makes me miss the junior girls I coached in Italy. ...

So you taught them how to go up--was there another coach that taught them how to go ...?
 
Ya, The first thing I recommend, like mr friend Gunji said. Don't exaggerate. You must not pretend you are better than you are until you are a PRO like me.
I'm sorry that you are from the UK. But my advice is the same. You can swap the countries, and change McDonalds for fish'N'chips.

As far as motivation goes, please join the Otsuki double ride, when you see how slow those guys go you will be plenty motivated and probably come back here talking about how fast you are. Ha ha ha! Just joking!

No really though, please PM me and I will send you the details and prices for my first beginners class for absolute beginners. Trust me that is you.

Franz,

I have recently moved from being a complete beginner, to being slightly better than a complete beginner. I am not American as you thought, but from the UK, where unlike the Americans we almost enjoy losing. Can you recommend anything that can keep my motivation going at it's current level? I am willing to try anything.
 
I'm very sorry, English is only my 8th language so I sometimes make mistakes.

Whoa, slow down with the offensive capitalisation there please. Could start a civil war.
 
So as a coach, do you just tell people what to do, or do you actually ride yourself?

And how many sit-ups can you do in a row? I can do over 1000 now
 
So as a coach, do you just tell people what to do, or do you actually ride yourself?

And how many sit-ups can you do in a row? I can do over 1000 now

Owen, Fränz is a Great Artist of the Tour de Fränz. As we all know, only little artists do their own work. Just as a genius such as Damien Hirst



doesn't need to pickle his own sharks, Fränz doesn't need to do his own sit-ups (or even ride the Tour de Fränz).
 
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