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Welcome back Franz

Yes, it is common for me to ride up a hill or two just to show my students how the PROs do it, of course they only get to see me for about 5 seconds before I am out of sight. But I carry a web link camera so they can see me all the way. and I can yell advice at them as they struggle and labour up the hills trying to keep up. I love technology it means I can motivate and encourage all while providing a positive example of immaculate humanity.

Please don't side track things, in this thread we either talk about cycling or me. If you want to do 1000 sit ups or push ups that is wonderful. You should join a sit up forum? What... there is none? That is because no one in their right mind would do 1000 sit ups. Now lets get back on topic.

So as a coach, do you just tell people what to do, or do you actually ride yourself?

And how many sit-ups can you do in a row? I can do over 1000 now
 
I'm very sorry, English is only my 8th language so I sometimes make mistakes.

BS being your native tongue, obviously no?
 
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des conneries
 
Is that you?
P1090330.JPG
 
Ha ha, ya! You are a funny guy Lickaman, And don't worry, she is faster than you up the hills, I can promise you that. She is Swiss and you are American so of course your talk is bigger than your power. It's always guys who make jokes about women that end up being slower than them as soon as grade is above 3%.

Malte, No, it is not me. They looks like some of my beginner students from last years "Alps for beginners" training course. I am much more handsome than that, and have less body fat ratio. Would you like to buy one of my hats? I sell them, but only to guys who have a chance of being fast. I have to be careful of my image and not letting everyone represent me as advertising. I'm sure you have heard this before when you try and buy things of company reps. So sorry you can't buy one after all.
 
It has been a while since I last scrolled through this forum, and I must say I find this thread quite entertaining. I know I shouldn't be feeding Franz the Austrian Troll (you don't mind me calling you that, right?), but assuming you are a real person and not one of the regular members playing a prank, I think I speak on behalf of many other members when I wish you Franz to choke on a Wiener schnitzel and drop dead.
But before you do, it would be nice to go out for a ride together to see whether you are as good on a bike as you are being a Troll.
 
Ha ha ha! Thank you Hair, I didn't realise you were the spokesperson for all the members here, But I can see you wish you were. It is OK though, If there is a vote I promise I will vote for you, because you seem like a real statesman!

Don't worry I am organizing a training camp so I will definitely pencil you into the absolute beginners. After that you won't have to turn your photos in Photoshop in order to pretend to everyone you can master a 3% hill. You will be able to do it for real. Trust me it is an amazing feeling. So just hold on for a bit and I will send you details.

BTW, I don't eat weiner snitzels, but if I did I wouldn't choke because I still have my teeth and am a master chewer. Thanks for worrying about me though.

It has been a while since I last scrolled through this forum, and I must say I find this thread quite entertaining. I know I shouldn't be feeding Franz the Austrian Troll (you don't mind me calling you that, right?), but assuming you are a real person and not one of the regular members playing a prank, I think I speak on behalf of many other members when I wish you Franz to choke on a Wiener schnitzel and drop dead.
But before you do, it would be nice to go out for a ride together to see whether you are as good on a bike as you are being a Troll.
 
Ha ha, ya! You are a funny guy Lickaman, And don't worry, she is faster than you up the hills, I can promise you that. She is Swiss and you are American so of course your talk is bigger than your power. It's always guys who make jokes about women that end up being slower than them as soon as grade is above 3%.

Malte, No, it is not me. They looks like some of my beginner students from last years "Alps for beginners" training course. I am much more handsome than that, and have less body fat ratio. Would you like to buy one of my hats? I sell them, but only to guys who have a chance of being fast. I have to be careful of my image and not letting everyone represent me as advertising. I'm sure you have heard this before when you try and buy things of company reps. So sorry you can't buy one after all.
Thanks Frances. I like what you did to my TCC handle. Very inventive. I wasn't actually implying that women are slow when I said I though that was you on the right. I just assumed you were a woman.
 
I'm sorry I guess we are both not native speakers of English ! Ha ha ha! Maybe I am as confused by your English as everyone else. Why would you assume I was a woman?
Please let us know? You can use your native tongue if it is easier. I can probably understand it.

It is funny though because I thought you were a woman too! With a name like Lickaman what else could you be. I was about to offer you a big discount to my first training camp! Ha ha ha just jokes!


Thanks Frances. I like what you did to my TCC handle. Very inventive. I wasn't actually implying that women are slow when I said I though that was you on the right. I just assumed you were a woman.
 
Franz, still no official creditials about your creditation, nor any photos of your trophy room and no links to UCI sactioned events you recently raced in.

Like I said before - des conneries.
 
Kranz, I'll be delighted to join one of your training camps! But before I do, it would be helpful if you could please provide some of your trainer credentials. I mean, as an absolute beginner, I would like to make sure I am in professional and reliable hands. And, no, I'm not referring to your imaginary friends in E.C FDJ. You can start with posting a photo (real one, please) of yours, so we can all admire your climber physique and become even more motivated. I can hardly wait.
 
I'm sorry I guess we are both not native speakers of English ! Ha ha ha! Maybe I am as confused by your English as everyone else. Why would you assume I was a woman?
Please let us know? You can use your native tongue if it is easier. I can probably understand it.

It is funny though because I thought you were a woman too! With a name like Lickaman what else could you be. I was about to offer you a big discount to my first training camp! Ha ha ha just jokes!
Hi Frances
My assumption was made on the fact that you have obviously come on this website anonymously, hiding behind a huge chunk of lies and spouting off, left, right and centre. You quite clearly have no balls, hence I made the assumption you are a woman.
 
Kranz, I'll be delighted to join one of your training camps! But before I do, it would be helpful if you could please provide some of your trainer credentials. I mean, as an absolute beginner, I would like to make sure I am in professional and reliable hands. And, no, I'm not referring to your imaginary friends in E.C FDJ. You can start with posting a photo (real one, please) of yours, so we can all admire your climber physique and become even more motivated. I can hardly wait.

I would much sooner be coached by some one like Franz that had " been there and lived the life" than someone who had paid for an online diploma and "unique" textbook!
Life smarts over book smarts any day!
A coach like Franz won't tell you what to do ....He will SHOW you!
 
Franz has as much game as an old skool irc bot. Remember them? Of course not, why bother? The <person> or construct 'playing' Franz has a decent sense of baiting and trolling (primary requirements) which enable a fair amount of game play. As far as a positive member to the TCC Forum, well, this is why sysadmins were invented. I would Z-Line this one in a heartbeat. And, oh, yeah, a bounty on his/her hat. Let's see if 'Franz' shows up at Azami - I have Silca that will fit nicely between their spokes. (If they even know what that is).
 
Please forgive me i will try to address all you questions in one post...

Kranz, I'll be delighted to join one of your training camps! But before I do, it would be helpful if you could please provide some of your trainer credentials. I mean, as an absolute beginner, I would like to make sure I am in professional and reliable hands. And, no, I'm not referring to your imaginary friends in E.C FDJ. You can start with posting a photo (real one, please) of yours, so we can all admire your climber physique and become even more motivated. I can hardly wait.

Thank you Hair, I am in the wind tunnel today doing some testing for Shimano, they needed someone who could put out 600W for 30 minutes and unfortunately none of the Local "PROS" can cut that kind of riding. I can see why you are asking for acceditation And i will grant your request. So When I get home tonight I will post up all the info you requested. Then we can get you booked and start changing your future from one of a bleak and consistant beating by the peleton to one of leading them into abyss of pain and misery and coming out the other side smiling and waving at them as you solo it across the line while doing a wheelie. Evil Kneivil style.

This is what I can deliver to you. (Do you know what a peleton is? - Don't worry we will start at the beginning for you)

Hi Frances
My assumption was made on the fact that you have obviously come on this website anonymously, hiding behind a huge chunk of lies and spouting off, left, right and centre. You quite clearly have no balls, hence I made the assumption you are a woman.

Ha ha ha! Yes, sometimes it feels like we are all anonymous doesn't it in this internet world. Alienated, alone. Not trusting anyone or anything. Scared of all we read and see and hear. All we can do sometimes is lash out. Pretend everyone is weaker than us. Trust me I know how you feel... Well, I have seen others suffering like you. I, of course have loads of friends and followers so I don't have to worry about any of that.

I just want to say, you aren't alone. (Except when you are trying to go up the hills) You do have friends (Except when everyone has to wait extraordinary amounts of time at the top of hills for you) You don't have to pretend men are women anymore. (We are very liberal and accepting on this site)

To Zenbiker and Musashi,

Thank you my friends, I was beginning to think that everyone was against me, that there were no true cyclists. Men with steel hearts and willpower of the gods. I can see there is hope here, there are men of my own mold, sculpted like david (with arms) borne out of a titanium forge with legs like steam pistons and the ability to snap cranks with the steel of their gaze. Fear not my gallant bretheren you are no longer alone in this whimpering pit of mediocrity. Take hope in that I, Franz have arrived to guide your path into the paved hills of your own destiny and beyond, where the gods of cyclists past lie in wait to reward those with the courage to step past the fire and into unknown. The Mashing steel and chain is now your friend, the snapping of carbon and sinew is now your music, and the sweet smell of victory is now your ripe reward!!

Ride forth, reach out and take what is yours!!
 
Please forgive me i will try to address all you questions in one post...



Thank you Hair, I am in the wind tunnel today doing some testing for Shimano, they needed someone who could put out 600W for 30 minutes and unfortunately none of the Local "PROS" can cut that kind of riding. I can see why you are asking for acceditation And i will grant your request. So When I get home tonight I will post up all the info you requested. Then we can get you booked and start changing your future from one of a bleak and consistant beating by the peleton to one of leading them into abyss of pain and misery and coming out the other side smiling and waving at them as you solo it across the line while doing a wheelie. Evil Kneivil style.

This is what I can deliver to you. (Do you know what a peleton is? - Don't worry we will start at the beginning for you)



Ha ha ha! Yes, sometimes it feels like we are all anonymous doesn't it in this internet world. Alienated, alone. Not trusting anyone or anything. Scared of all we read and see and hear. All we can do sometimes is lash out. Pretend everyone is weaker than us. Trust me I know how you feel... Well, I have seen others suffering like you. I, of course have loads of friends and followers so I don't have to worry about any of that.

I just want to say, you aren't alone. (Except when you are trying to go up the hills) You do have friends (Except when everyone has to wait extraordinary amounts of time at the top of hills for you) You don't have to pretend men are women anymore. (We are very liberal and accepting on this site)

To Zenbiker and Musashi,

Thank you my friends, I was beginning to think that everyone was against me, that there were no true cyclists. Men with steel hearts and willpower of the gods. I can see there is hope here, there are men of my own mold, sculpted like david (with arms) borne out of a titanium forge with legs like steam pistons and the ability to snap cranks with the steel of their gaze. Fear not my gallant bretheren you are no longer alone in this whimpering pit of mediocrity. Take hope in that I, Franz have arrived to guide your path into the paved hills of your own destiny and beyond, where the gods of cyclists past lie in wait to reward those with the courage to step past the fire and into unknown. The Mashing steel and chain is now your friend, the snapping of carbon and sinew is now your music, and the sweet smell of victory is now your ripe reward!!

Ride forth, reach out and take what is yours!!

Krantz, Sorry to bother you while you are hummering it in the wind tunnel, and thanks for the vote of confidence. Before you post anything later tonight, though, please remember that putting out long smart-ass comments do not count as credentials. Looking foward to being amazed by your PRO experience, and I will be the first to acknowledge and appologize my distrust, as I am humbled by your shere awesomeness.
 
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