kpykc
Speeding Up
- Jun 13, 2007
- 805
- 14
Original is here:
http://www.bicycling.com/tourdefrance/article/0,6802,ss1-3-12-21047-1,00.html
Might have seen it somewhere some time before, sorry if it's old, but quite funny anyway:
Falling in puppy love, graduating high school, the birth of your child--nothing compared with your first case of road rash and these 108 other momentous occasions in the life of a cyclist
1 – Realizing that the hill isn't in the way; it is the way.
2 – You go from one pair of shorts to a dedicated drawerful
3 – Being unable to sleep the night after you shave your legs, because of the tingle of bedsheets against your skin.
4 – When "thanks for the ride" goes from something you overhear to a part of your lexicon
5 – You see someone on the beach tanned low on the quads and biceps, and give him a nod of recognition.
6 – Bonking so bad you don't think you will be able to make it home.
7 – Discovering how a convenience-store Coke can resurrect the dead.
8 – Starting and finishing a ride – the same one – in pouring rain.
9 – When you hang out at the bike shop and no one expects you to buy anything.
10 – When your bike computer registers triple digits for one ride.
11 – Clearing a log on the trail
12 – You embrocate.
13 – Staying long enough with the paceline to have a turn at the front.
14 – You are on the bike for the fifth straight day, and your butt doesn't hurt.
15 – You try bibs and realize you can never go back to shorts.
16 – You notice that someone else has chain grease on his right calf.
17 – You ride inside the pack with no claustrophobia
18 – You swing off the front of the paceline before you get tired.
19 – You blow a snot-rocket without hitting your shoulder or your leg – or the guy behind you.
20 – You get stuck in your pedals and topple over at a stoplight
21 – Someone you introduced to the sport kicks your ass on the ride.
22 – Riding your bike through a big, congested city and feeling smarter than everyone else because you're moving.
23 – You wake up to find your sheets sticking to your road-rash, and are feeling excited about riding that day.
24 – Your boss stops to ask you what is happening in the Tour de France
25 – You fix up your old bike to get someone else into the sport.
26 – Wearing out your first set of tires.
27 – You ride through a pothole, and it's no big deal.
28 – Getting hopelessly lost – deliberately.
29 – You stop mid-ride to give your only spare tube to a stranded cyclist
30 – You realize you're driving your car as if it were a bike – drafting, looking for potholes, and getting away from that squirrelly guy.
31 – Fixing a busted chain.
32 – When you no longer have to stop to take off your jacket.
33 – Feeling confident about taking off your jacket while riding, and then getting the trailing sleeve caught in the rear tire.
34 – The first time you crumple your race numbers.
35 – Planning a riding vacation
36 – Seeing sunrise from the saddle.
37 – Wondering how your biggest local hill would rank on the Tour de France classification.
38 – In your head, Phil Liggett narrates your ride.
39 – You got dropped, you flatted, bonked, and got turned around – and when you get home you say you got a great ride.
40 – You roll through a patch of gravel and, without thinking, you reach back to rub the crud off your tire with your hand.
41 – A rider your respect says "You were flying today."
42 – Rolling through a stop-sign, knowing it was the right thing to do.
43 – Doored!
44 – When you crest the summit of a climb, start down, realize you're going the wrong way, but keep going anyway.
45 – Rubbing wheels – and staying up.
46 – Letting go of your kid's seat and not having to grab it again.
47 – Getting your bike stolen and realizing how much it hurt you.
48 – Cleaning the cassette with your old toothbrush.
49 – Sprinting the neighborhood kids.
50 – Chasing a rabbit down the singletrack.
51 – Falling asleep when you stop for a break on a mountain bike ride.
52 – Endo.
53 – Telling someone which bike to buy.
54 – Overcooking a turn.
55 – Breaking a collarbone.
56 – Figuring out how to layer without overdressing.
57 – Dicing which car to buy in part based on how it will carry your bikes.
58 – Your first ride with a jersey instead of a t-shirt
59 – Riding on a day to cold that the water in your bottle freezes.
60 – Discovering that a shot of Jameson in each bottle keeps the water fluid.
61 – Though you're not clear on exactly how to do it, and unsure of the outcome, you manage to fix your first flat.
62 – Walking home in your cleats.
63 – Getting so deep into the sport you think your helmet looks good.
64 – Following a favourite pro-racer—besides Lance Armstrong.
65 – Finding out that your favourite pro-racer was doping.
66 – Wrapping your bar tape so the handlebar plug stays in and no bar shows at the tricky bend at the brake hood.
67 – Naming a route
68 – Bumping elbows, then being relaxed enough to make a joke about it with the guy next to you.
69 – Sitting in with the big weekend training race.
70 – Developing that "V" of muscle definition on the back of your calf.
71 – Espresso at the halfway point.
72 – Crashing and immediately asking "How's my bike?"
73 – Fixing your bike with a rock.
74 – Paying for a coach
75 – Figuring out that training advice doesn't get much better than "ride lots."
76 – Clacking into a rough tavern in cleats and spandex.
77 – Having a position on Bartali vs Coppi
78 – Throwing up after an epic sprint.
79 – Chasing back on after a flat.
80 – Winning a town-sign sprint and remembering it forever.
82 – Watching the compressed CO2 from your only canister shooting off into the air instead of the tube.
83 – Matching your bar tape with your tire's sidewall – then realizing on your next ride that your bike looks like it's been decorated by a blind pimp.
84 – Riding someplace you've always driven.
85 – Outsprinting a crazed dog.
86 – Summiting an H.C. Climb.
87 – Waving ata cyclist coming the other way and being ignored.
88 – Getting annoyed by an uninvited wheel sucker.
89 – Getting so fast you're confident enough to ride slow.
90 – Wondering if cycling matters too much.
91 – Not caring if it does.
92 – At the PTA meeting, looking around at all the fat parents.
93 - Sitting up, taking your hands off the bar on a downhill.
94 – Surfing traffic on adrenaline and luck in one of the world's 10 biggest cities.
95 – Dropping someone half your age.
96 – Outclimbing someone half your size.
97 – Passing someone whose bike costs twice as much as yours.
98 – Looking inside the bottle you've been using all season, seeing mold.
99 – Dismissing what used to be your favourite magazine because it keeps repeating topics.
100 – Reading The Rider.
101 – Coming home from Europe with cobblestones in your luggage.
102 – Finding out that no one makes your favourite handlebar-bend anymore.
103 – Riding down a trail you couldn't safely walk.
104 – Telling the joke, "God wishes he was Eddy Merckx."
105 – Cheating a crosswind by joining an echelon.
106 – Feeling superstrong, then turning around and realizing you have had a tailwind.
107 – Pedaling the Rainbow Bridge, Tokyo, at night.
))
108 – Beating the person whose bike squeaks drives everyone nuts.
109 – Reading a rites of passage list and finding that your own favourite is missing.
http://www.bicycling.com/tourdefrance/article/0,6802,ss1-3-12-21047-1,00.html
Might have seen it somewhere some time before, sorry if it's old, but quite funny anyway:
Falling in puppy love, graduating high school, the birth of your child--nothing compared with your first case of road rash and these 108 other momentous occasions in the life of a cyclist
1 – Realizing that the hill isn't in the way; it is the way.
2 – You go from one pair of shorts to a dedicated drawerful
3 – Being unable to sleep the night after you shave your legs, because of the tingle of bedsheets against your skin.
4 – When "thanks for the ride" goes from something you overhear to a part of your lexicon
5 – You see someone on the beach tanned low on the quads and biceps, and give him a nod of recognition.
6 – Bonking so bad you don't think you will be able to make it home.
7 – Discovering how a convenience-store Coke can resurrect the dead.
8 – Starting and finishing a ride – the same one – in pouring rain.
9 – When you hang out at the bike shop and no one expects you to buy anything.
10 – When your bike computer registers triple digits for one ride.
11 – Clearing a log on the trail
12 – You embrocate.
13 – Staying long enough with the paceline to have a turn at the front.
14 – You are on the bike for the fifth straight day, and your butt doesn't hurt.
15 – You try bibs and realize you can never go back to shorts.
16 – You notice that someone else has chain grease on his right calf.
17 – You ride inside the pack with no claustrophobia
18 – You swing off the front of the paceline before you get tired.
19 – You blow a snot-rocket without hitting your shoulder or your leg – or the guy behind you.
20 – You get stuck in your pedals and topple over at a stoplight
21 – Someone you introduced to the sport kicks your ass on the ride.
22 – Riding your bike through a big, congested city and feeling smarter than everyone else because you're moving.
23 – You wake up to find your sheets sticking to your road-rash, and are feeling excited about riding that day.
24 – Your boss stops to ask you what is happening in the Tour de France
25 – You fix up your old bike to get someone else into the sport.
26 – Wearing out your first set of tires.
27 – You ride through a pothole, and it's no big deal.
28 – Getting hopelessly lost – deliberately.
29 – You stop mid-ride to give your only spare tube to a stranded cyclist
30 – You realize you're driving your car as if it were a bike – drafting, looking for potholes, and getting away from that squirrelly guy.
31 – Fixing a busted chain.
32 – When you no longer have to stop to take off your jacket.
33 – Feeling confident about taking off your jacket while riding, and then getting the trailing sleeve caught in the rear tire.
34 – The first time you crumple your race numbers.
35 – Planning a riding vacation
36 – Seeing sunrise from the saddle.
37 – Wondering how your biggest local hill would rank on the Tour de France classification.
38 – In your head, Phil Liggett narrates your ride.
39 – You got dropped, you flatted, bonked, and got turned around – and when you get home you say you got a great ride.
40 – You roll through a patch of gravel and, without thinking, you reach back to rub the crud off your tire with your hand.
41 – A rider your respect says "You were flying today."
42 – Rolling through a stop-sign, knowing it was the right thing to do.
43 – Doored!
44 – When you crest the summit of a climb, start down, realize you're going the wrong way, but keep going anyway.
45 – Rubbing wheels – and staying up.
46 – Letting go of your kid's seat and not having to grab it again.
47 – Getting your bike stolen and realizing how much it hurt you.
48 – Cleaning the cassette with your old toothbrush.
49 – Sprinting the neighborhood kids.
50 – Chasing a rabbit down the singletrack.
51 – Falling asleep when you stop for a break on a mountain bike ride.
52 – Endo.
53 – Telling someone which bike to buy.
54 – Overcooking a turn.
55 – Breaking a collarbone.
56 – Figuring out how to layer without overdressing.
57 – Dicing which car to buy in part based on how it will carry your bikes.
58 – Your first ride with a jersey instead of a t-shirt
59 – Riding on a day to cold that the water in your bottle freezes.
60 – Discovering that a shot of Jameson in each bottle keeps the water fluid.
61 – Though you're not clear on exactly how to do it, and unsure of the outcome, you manage to fix your first flat.
62 – Walking home in your cleats.
63 – Getting so deep into the sport you think your helmet looks good.
64 – Following a favourite pro-racer—besides Lance Armstrong.
65 – Finding out that your favourite pro-racer was doping.
66 – Wrapping your bar tape so the handlebar plug stays in and no bar shows at the tricky bend at the brake hood.
67 – Naming a route
68 – Bumping elbows, then being relaxed enough to make a joke about it with the guy next to you.
69 – Sitting in with the big weekend training race.
70 – Developing that "V" of muscle definition on the back of your calf.
71 – Espresso at the halfway point.
72 – Crashing and immediately asking "How's my bike?"
73 – Fixing your bike with a rock.
74 – Paying for a coach
75 – Figuring out that training advice doesn't get much better than "ride lots."
76 – Clacking into a rough tavern in cleats and spandex.
77 – Having a position on Bartali vs Coppi
78 – Throwing up after an epic sprint.
79 – Chasing back on after a flat.
80 – Winning a town-sign sprint and remembering it forever.
82 – Watching the compressed CO2 from your only canister shooting off into the air instead of the tube.
83 – Matching your bar tape with your tire's sidewall – then realizing on your next ride that your bike looks like it's been decorated by a blind pimp.
84 – Riding someplace you've always driven.
85 – Outsprinting a crazed dog.
86 – Summiting an H.C. Climb.
87 – Waving ata cyclist coming the other way and being ignored.
88 – Getting annoyed by an uninvited wheel sucker.
89 – Getting so fast you're confident enough to ride slow.
90 – Wondering if cycling matters too much.
91 – Not caring if it does.
92 – At the PTA meeting, looking around at all the fat parents.
93 - Sitting up, taking your hands off the bar on a downhill.
94 – Surfing traffic on adrenaline and luck in one of the world's 10 biggest cities.
95 – Dropping someone half your age.
96 – Outclimbing someone half your size.
97 – Passing someone whose bike costs twice as much as yours.
98 – Looking inside the bottle you've been using all season, seeing mold.
99 – Dismissing what used to be your favourite magazine because it keeps repeating topics.
100 – Reading The Rider.
101 – Coming home from Europe with cobblestones in your luggage.
102 – Finding out that no one makes your favourite handlebar-bend anymore.
103 – Riding down a trail you couldn't safely walk.
104 – Telling the joke, "God wishes he was Eddy Merckx."
105 – Cheating a crosswind by joining an echelon.
106 – Feeling superstrong, then turning around and realizing you have had a tailwind.
107 – Pedaling the Rainbow Bridge, Tokyo, at night.
))108 – Beating the person whose bike squeaks drives everyone nuts.
109 – Reading a rites of passage list and finding that your own favourite is missing.
