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Funniest thing you have seen cycling

kiwisimon

Maximum Pace
Dec 14, 2006
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It's a crappy weather day today so rather than ride stories, what is the funniest, strangest thing you have ever seen cycling?

Mine is where a mate had taken up cycling and we used to ride the 10kms to school in a group of about six or so. Naturally pacelines formed and as a newby he would often try and get a free ride out the back. We got sick of this after a few weeks so first I decided to give him a push with my front wheel on his back wheel, this freaked him out as told him my going down would be on him not being able to hold a line. Next we would ride along side and lob spit through his front triangle. This was on the way to school and unfortunately the odd stray lob would hit his socks or shoes. I can still remember his screaming for relief from the thought of having an oyster hit his socks or shoes. He soon joined in taking pulls and we all got to get to school a little quicker and fresher. We still would play around with wheel on wheel pushes and such, no one went don, just as well considering we weren't wearing gloves or helmets. 17year olds never think of what might happen.
 
Um, I wasn't there and don't mean to be insensitive,

but I think the title of this tread should be renamed "f*ckwitiest thing I've ever done on a bike."
 
@Kiwi - you guys were incredibly kind. Newbies to our bunch usually got at least one or 2 Silca's through the wheels - sometimes as warnings - and sometimes just as a hazing. Besides that , it was pretty much normal to slam the other guy's shifters forward on the climbs or sprints. Funniest thing I saw though was in Seattle - a guy we saw living rough had an old cruiser that slowly 'lost parts'. He rode for years with no saddle. Just the seatpost with a rag duct taped to it. Then no seatpost. Then no handlebars - only a broom stick. On occasion he'd be riding 'Portland Tubeless' which anyone knows is riding on bare rims. Not surer if this qualifies as 'funny' - but it raised (or lowered) the bar of what we felt was a rideable machine even to the point that it became a bit of a grunge 'fad' to ride a $5 cruiser with no saddle or seatpost. And the grunge thang carried on with the inevitable 'Goodwill Messenger Kit'. Which basically meant spending no more than $10-20 fully to kit yourself out as a Seattle Messenger (Cruiser, Pendelton shirt, Buffalo boots, etc) . Most of the time we 'fixed' the bikes by crossthreading an Italian threaded track cog on them and used JB weld to keep it there.
 
it was pretty much normal to slam the other guy's shifters forward on the climbs or sprints.
Lost count of the times we have done that, oh and winding out the brake adjustment till it was just barely allowing the wheels to turn while someone was "busy". Saw my mate use his left hand to try and adjust a cat eye sensor on the right fork leg, he never did that again. I'm guilty of slamming my bar end plugs in while riding along (at least twice), it just proves mental powers fade pretty quick with exhaustion. looking back on it, yeah you have to laugh.
 
I've been guilty of the bar-end thing. Amazing how fast the bike changes direction under you when you give the bar end a good smack! Haha! Funniest thing I had happen to me , though, was at a State Road Race where we had a stiff climb up a pass, then a feedzone. We had to do 2 laps of the course. I instructed my 'soigner' (girlfriend) to please have ready a de-fizzed Coke , water bidon and Hostess Berry Pie for the handup. When I got close I saw her - then a shock of disbelief as she opened the Coke and started to shake it in one hand, the Berry PIe in the other. I was like a deer in headlights, I desperately wanted to steer away from the impending disaster, yet couldn't pry myself away from the course. She ran to me and I was immediately struck by both foaming Coke and smashed berry pie. That pretty well sucked because we had then a 10mi descent in the cold. Covered in sticky Coke and Pie remnants - plus no water for the next lap which was hot and dry.
 
Saw my mate use his left hand to try and adjust a cat eye sensor on the right fork leg, he never did that again. I'm guilty of slamming my bar end plugs in while riding along (at least twice), it just proves mental powers fade pretty quick with exhaustion. looking back on it, yeah you have to laugh.

Oh god. I did that computer thing. Astonished I didnt break a finger or get thrown off. I've also done the bar end one, mainly because I'm a muppet. One of the funnies I remember was a club mate who when we were crossing a damp wooden bridge started locking his back wheel & sliding it. Of course the third time he did it the wheel slid out & he went quite a long way on his backside. No damage but the group had to stop until the laughter subsided.
 
One of the funniest thing I ever saw was David Jacob riding his bike and ignoring a red light at one of the villages between Ome and Okutama. In fact it was the only light in the whole village AND it was traffic safety day AND the full police force plus countless volunteers were sitting in a tent at the light to enforce safe rising policy. Everybody was just staring at David in disbelief.
 
Well, I once saw a cyclist put his feet (shoes and all) into the 'foot bath' that's adjacent to the Italian Restaurant at Takaosanguchi. The day was rather cold and rainy afterall... I never saw Obasans jump up so fast in my life.
 
As a kid I would do odd bicycle repairs for the neighbors. One time this mother brought me this kids bike and complained the chain kept coming off. I then explained that the bottom bracket is supposed to be attached to the down tube and not floating over it and that was probably the cause of the issue. I was not a bike shop and probably about 12 at the time so I glued it and then taped it together as best I could and told her to get a new bike for her kid. She seemed happy though and the kid was still riding it weeks later... Used to drive me crazy when I'd see the big ball of tape. lol.
 
I would have to say the 4th race of the Tohoku CX series last year - I have never seen so many comical ways for people to go over the handle bars and it happened so frequently and so randomly that it was if someone was pressing a button
 
@Alan - WIN! This is so bloody priceless ...
 
Did kori ever post a picture of that cracked downtube mended by some tape and chopsticks a few years back?

That is our very own @GSAstuto you're talking about! Ridden up and down Mt. Fuji held together only with chopsticks, tape and a dose of good luck....
 
You mean this one?

SBSH0433.JPG
 
This evening Mr Cool gaijin on his fixie going much too fast the wrong way on a
One way street. Cool until he met Mr I'm too cool to look before I cross the road!
Sorry if it was a TCC member, I don't usually laugh at the misfortune of others....
 
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