WhiteGiant
Maximum Pace
- Nov 4, 2006
- 1,233
- 395
Champagne, frog's legs and Napolean!
These three things alone conjure up images of the Champs-Elysees, rude waiters, and little man syndrome.
However, around July every year something more sinister pervades the atmosphere. It is almost imperceptible to the general public,
who remain oblivious to its presence, except for the inexplicable rise in internet bandwidth usage among the commoners not fortunate enough to have access to Pay-Per-View TV.
This phenomenon, known as the "TDF"to cliquey groups of fans called 'wannabes', is universally watched by lycra-clad voyeuristic pedal-files all around the globe.
The starlets of this TDF, more commonly referred to as "Bio-discular", "Iconoclastic", "Kinetic", "Enlivener"s come from various regions:
Including the USA, Britain, Germany, Spain, and an unusually high percentage coming from Italy. These starlets, or "BIKES", are nothing more than objects of desire,
that prey on the innocent - causing the weaker among us to fork out thousands of dollars per year on lycra, rubber and carbon shafts.
The depravity of these "BIKE"s is matched only by what are known as "Temporally","Energized", "Accelerating", "Maestro"s. These "TEAMS" are
made up of the stars, or 'riders' (no acronym necessary) of the entire cellulose-spending, cerebral-swelling, swear-inducing celluloid experience that is the TDF.
The general public must be warned!
I've searched high and low across the internet for a single source of information on exactly which "BIKEs" will be managed by which "TEAMs", but have found nothing.
This goes to show how secretive all of the elements involved in the TDF have become. The "TEAM"s have their websites, but do not hold much information on their chosen
"BIKE". The "BIKE"s have websites, but their pictures are hard to get hold of.
The "riders"though, are most shameless! These fast & flashy show-offs will appear anywhere, and some of them are not above abusing their "BIKE"s - even on camera!
Therefore, in the interest of public safety and awareness, here is an almost complete list of the "TEAM"s, including a picture of the "BIKE" that each "TEAM" has chosen.
This is not for the faint of heart - In fact, one "BIKE" has chosen to be ridden by two "TEAM"s... Disgusting! And one "TEAM"s "BIKE" is completely missing.
Remember, if you see any of these "BIKE"s anywhere, approach with extreme caution. In some cases, it might be best to approach with your spouse,
in order to save yourself from a potential financial disaster.
REMEMBER: The first step in combatting BIKE-PORN is knowledge & awareness! "Know thy enemy!"
Ag2r La Mondiale
Agritubel
[p]No Photo Available[/p]
Astana
Bbox Bouygues Telecom
Caisse d'Epargne
Cervelo Test Team
Cofidis
Euskaltel - Euskadi
Francaise Des Jeux
Garmin Slipstream
Lampre - N.G.C.
These three things alone conjure up images of the Champs-Elysees, rude waiters, and little man syndrome.
However, around July every year something more sinister pervades the atmosphere. It is almost imperceptible to the general public,
who remain oblivious to its presence, except for the inexplicable rise in internet bandwidth usage among the commoners not fortunate enough to have access to Pay-Per-View TV.
This phenomenon, known as the "TDF"to cliquey groups of fans called 'wannabes', is universally watched by lycra-clad voyeuristic pedal-files all around the globe.
The starlets of this TDF, more commonly referred to as "Bio-discular", "Iconoclastic", "Kinetic", "Enlivener"s come from various regions:
Including the USA, Britain, Germany, Spain, and an unusually high percentage coming from Italy. These starlets, or "BIKES", are nothing more than objects of desire,
that prey on the innocent - causing the weaker among us to fork out thousands of dollars per year on lycra, rubber and carbon shafts.
The depravity of these "BIKE"s is matched only by what are known as "Temporally","Energized", "Accelerating", "Maestro"s. These "TEAMS" are
made up of the stars, or 'riders' (no acronym necessary) of the entire cellulose-spending, cerebral-swelling, swear-inducing celluloid experience that is the TDF.
The general public must be warned!
I've searched high and low across the internet for a single source of information on exactly which "BIKEs" will be managed by which "TEAMs", but have found nothing.
This goes to show how secretive all of the elements involved in the TDF have become. The "TEAM"s have their websites, but do not hold much information on their chosen
"BIKE". The "BIKE"s have websites, but their pictures are hard to get hold of.
The "riders"though, are most shameless! These fast & flashy show-offs will appear anywhere, and some of them are not above abusing their "BIKE"s - even on camera!
Therefore, in the interest of public safety and awareness, here is an almost complete list of the "TEAM"s, including a picture of the "BIKE" that each "TEAM" has chosen.
This is not for the faint of heart - In fact, one "BIKE" has chosen to be ridden by two "TEAM"s... Disgusting! And one "TEAM"s "BIKE" is completely missing.
Remember, if you see any of these "BIKE"s anywhere, approach with extreme caution. In some cases, it might be best to approach with your spouse,
in order to save yourself from a potential financial disaster.
REMEMBER: The first step in combatting BIKE-PORN is knowledge & awareness! "Know thy enemy!"
Ag2r La Mondiale
Agritubel
[p]No Photo Available[/p]
Astana
Bbox Bouygues Telecom
Caisse d'Epargne
Cervelo Test Team
Cofidis
Euskaltel - Euskadi
Francaise Des Jeux
Garmin Slipstream
Lampre - N.G.C.