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Don't touch my bike!


Maximum Pace
Sep 24, 2007
You know how it is, there's always some ojisan watching you as you either set up or dismantle your bike at the station, smacking his lips in envy at your bike, asking question after question as you try your best to concentrate at the task in hand. I usually tolerate these guys as at least they seem interested in bike riding and they always suck in air with a 'sugoi' when you tell them how far you've been or about to ride, even if my answers are brief coz I'm trying to catch a BLOODY train!

It's the when they pick my bike up just see how light it is without asking permission that really gets my blood boiling! One of my big time pet hates for sure....So this is for you Mr. Stanger, don't touch my bloody bike unless you ask first:mad: Anyone else feeling me here?
Agreed mate.... don't like it even if its a fellow rider!

So when did this happen?
yeah if people ask fine but it's akin to hoping in a strangers car, just not good form. Lending bikes?.... not even to a mate unless I know he can ride really well, so just about anyone that hasn't raced will get an automatic no, unless it's my BMX or trasher.
Car? CAR? It's like someone coming up and fondling my wife! Worse in fact!
yeah if people ask fine but it's akin to hoping in a strangers car, just not good form. Lending bikes?.... not even to a mate unless I know he can ride really well, so just about anyone that hasn't raced will get an automatic no, unless it's my BMX or trasher.

Indeed... go ahead with the wife, but touch the wheels, and.....
Depending on my prevailing level of sarcasm, I would ask...

"Try not to get drool on the paintwork"


"It's 10,000 yen a touch. I have to get some return on my investment. Visa or Mastercard..?" * **

* I'd love someone to call my bluff on this, as I could in fact charge their card on the spot :p

** Inspired by Cheryl, at my middle school, who used to charge 50p a look.
Makes my blood BOIL.

3 times now at work, I have found my bike moved a couple of inches, where people have obviously picked it up to 'test the weight' and say 'sugoi'.

I park it WAY round the back, where nobody goes.

I am honestly thinking of writing a sign telling people in no uncertain terms that they are NOT TO TOUCH MY GOD DAMN BIKE.

If it continues, I am just going to bring it in and hang it above my desk from the strip lights.
Well, I don't mind someone touching my bike or a friend asking for a ride (except he has never ridden a geared bike before)...

Benefits of having an inexpensive bike! :)
Mike, there's no way you get hassled more than I do by the old men...

Fareast-- you picked up my bike to test the weight!! :p
(I don't remember if you asked first)
At work I take my bikes up into my office. I get there early enough nobody's around, and I try to leave when classes are in session or things are quiet. With my trek, I pick up the back wheel down the hall since the cassette clicking is pretty noisy. 4th floor, so I use the elevator.
Just a couple of days ago I had two complete strangers try to converse with me about my bike. I said I couldn't speak Japanese. So the first ojisan (> 65 yo) switched to English! So I got to converse with him a little. He mentioned he's been to El Nido in the Phils, nice friendly chap. On a stop over on the way home (at Komazawa-koen), another ojisan walked up to me while I was drinking hot cocoa out of a vendo. He was asking about the pedals, but then my Japanese failed me. So I just demonstrated how it works, clipping in, lifting the rear wheel, pedal forwards, pedal in reverse. I didn't demonstrate the crash while still clipped in scenario. He smiled and that's that. :)
Dry Shifters

:bike2:Its also bad was when people come into a bike shop that you are working in and go for the most blinged out bike and start shifting the gears. OMG WTF REALLY:eek:? That always really annoyed me, especially after delicatly adjusting :hammer:every little tiny thing on the bike. Most of the people who do something like that are just lookie lues:cool: just passing time before there "massage" :p(I worked in San Francisco next door to a private hot tub parlor, do not confuse with onsen, the customers here always left dirtyer than they arrived, 4 sure) Then we would have the occasional crackhead grab and dash! After that if someone asks to pick up my bike i,
1. check the eyes for crackiness :heyhey:
2. tell them do not shift the gears:thumb1:
3. explain that it is fragile and do not hurt it or i will hurt you!:gun:

Then its usually OK after I breath in a paper bag and count to tenand do like the sublime song says and :smoke::smoke:
Although my favourite new game is when talking with freinds or other bikers asking if I can lift thier bike and then saying "Omoi!" The looks on there faces is a classic!
As long as they don`t change any settings or add any scratches, I don`t care if anyone touches my bike. Its just a tool, if it was that precious I wouldn`t ride it!
The first thing you do when a mate turns up with a new ride is pick it up.
Then he says.... Thats with the water bottle!
Keith (zenbiker) - that's exactly how I think about it.

I'm much more worried about people on a train crashing into my bike when the train makes a fast stop. People not caring about what else is being carried around them are far more dangerous than people caring about what they are touching or lifting!
Apart from a few it's nice to know most of you seem to share the same sentiment as me...

Zenbiker.....a bike is just a tool? Seriously? I feel sorry for you my friend as it means you have never truly bonded with one. OK I know it's not alive so I'm not a true freak (just a bit of one for sure) but my steed definitely has some kind of spirit. When out on a ride and I have one of those moments of pure elation, it may be from a super technical descent as you bank into the corners, or ripping into some beast of a climb, I feel as if she and I have become one and together we share the thrill:D My point, a bike is no tool, it has a spirit and when cared for well it will give you many wonderful years of riding. And it appreciates not only regular maintenance such as lubing, but also kisses and fondling go down well too;)

And Ludwig....I don't really feel like mentioning it again as I know he still reads these posts and I don't want him to feel any worse, but don't forget it was your ol' cycling pal that picked up my bike to test it's weight and in the process put the first scratches on her!

So I repeat it for all once again....

Don't touch my bloody bike!
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