Are you a modern roadie?

May 22, 2007
3,571
1,390
143
Kawasaki
halffastcycling.com
#1
You know you're a modern roadie when…

20. You return from an epic ride to find your GPS didn’t record and it feels like you just wasted your day and energy.

19. Your gears stopped working… because of a dead battery.

18. Your first ride of 2015 was on 2 January. All the achievable Strava KOMs were already taken.

17. You work out indoors on windy days because your aerodynamic frame and wheels are just too scary outside.

16. A rest day is when your GPS is turned off.

15. You can't train indoors because your computer has a virus.

14. You’re involved in a crash and you get X-rays… of your bike for insurance purposes. The sore ribs go ignored.

13. You see someone wearing a tiger-print skinsuit and your first thought is ‘brave’.

12. A car hits you because they didn’t see your ‘murdered-out’ bike and matching kit. Luckily, you caught the whole thing in HD video.

11. Your brakes are leaking oil.

10. Your power meter keeps cutting out – you decide it’s pointless to ride like this.

9. Distracted by your GPS, you hit the back of a car. (Perhaps using your Garmin while riding is no different to drivers texting?)

8. It’s wet outside, so you wonder if you should just ride your cyclocross bike on the road today?

7. You get a flat and find neither you nor anyone in your group has a 60/80mm valve tube. You call a cab/your spouse, delete the file off your GPS and pretend the ride never happened.

6. Your heart rate/cadence/speed or power sensor malfunctions and picks up the data of a young-gun riding past. You immediately screen-shot the effort.

5. You can’t operate your bike computer because the touchscreen doesn’t work with the gloves you’re wearing.

4. You have a Gran Fondo coming up, but can’t decide whether to use 50/34, 52/36 or 53/39 gearing on the front. And the rear cassette is a whole other drama!

3. You're sitting at the lights and go to push off – you shift for a gear but nothing happens. You quickly hear the laughter of your mate riding off and look down to find you’ve been unplugged.

2. Fixing a bottom bracket creak is no longer a matter of reaching for a wrench and grease. It now requires a hammer, a cup remover, a headset press, a new bottom bracket and a whole bunch of Loc-tite.

1. Your crankset tells you not to quit your day job.

[source]
 

timefleas

Maximum Pace
Nov 30, 2013
107
45
58
#3
If that comes close to the definition of a "modern roadie" I am proud to say that I fail on just about every count--I love the simplicity of a non-electronic bike that I can actually fix myself, and need only the simplest of on-board computers--glad I failed!!
 
Likes: jessica

George5

Maximum Pace
Oct 16, 2014
385
141
73
46
#4
If that comes close to the definition of a "modern roadie" I am proud to say that I fail on just about every count--I love the simplicity of a non-electronic bike that I can actually fix myself, and need only the simplest of on-board computers--glad I failed!!
yeah but you spend time on a computer just reading and typing about cycling. That's modern. remember "it aint about the bike"
 

joewein

Maximum Pace
Oct 25, 2011
2,429
874
133
Setagaya, Tokyo
joewein.net
#6
19. Your gears stopped working… because of a dead battery.
My gears stopped working... because of a broken shifter cable (it happened twice in two years). I had to turn around and wait for the LBS to open to buy a new cable.

So seriously, it's fun to take a poke at electronically shifting roadies, but how fair is it? I learnt my mechanical lesson and swap cables regularly now (at least annually). Likewise, batteries need regular attention. Neglect either at your own peril.

I swap and recharge NiMH batteries in my rear flashers on the first long ride of every month. It wouldn't be difficult to extend that regime to a shifter battery. At least Di2 batteries can be charged on the fly, using the charger adapter with a USB battery (I carry one of those for my phone and GPS anyway). I don't normally ride with spare shifter cables or even keep them in stock at home, neither do I ride with all the tools needed if a cable breaks. So I wouldn't be so hard on Di2 users (and probably will join the crowd at some point :)).
 

George5

Maximum Pace
Oct 16, 2014
385
141
73
46
#8
I swap and recharge NiMH batteries in my rear flashers on the first long ride of every month. It wouldn't be difficult to extend that regime to a shifter battery. At least Di2 batteries can be charged on the fly, using the charger adapter with a USB battery (I carry one of those for my phone and GPS anyway). I don't normally ride with spare shifter cables or even keep them in stock at home, neither do I ride with all the tools needed if a cable breaks. So I wouldn't be so hard on Di2 users (and probably will join the crowd at some point :)).
Wouldn't it be easier to just build solar panels into the frame and connect them that way?
 

joewein

Maximum Pace
Oct 25, 2011
2,429
874
133
Setagaya, Tokyo
joewein.net
#9
Wouldn't it be easier to just build solar panels into the frame and connect them that way?
Short answer: No


----
(*) It wouldn't work very well, because charging Li-ion batteries requires defined voltages and currents, which doesn't play well with a solar panel that keeps turning relative to the sun as you ride. Besides, any panel big enough to be useful will be heavier than a minimal USB battery.
 
Likes: George5

timefleas

Maximum Pace
Nov 30, 2013
107
45
58
#10
yeah but you spend time on a computer just reading and typing about cycling. That's modern. remember "it aint about the bike"
'just reading, typing…'--actually, I do ride on occasion, if you call daily, on occasion, and why should it not also be "about the bike"--pride of ownership, pride of maintenance, pride of use--what's wrong with any of those?

And really, communicating on a computer, and riding a bicycle share what, exactly, in common? The fact that I choose to enjoy the outdoors on bikes that are notably low tech can in no way have anything at all to do with whether I use a computer, a telephone, or a string and a couple of tin cans to communicate with.

Let's stay on subject. For the record I don't knock the "modern roadie"--if you've got it figured out, if you've got the money, and if it works for you--great! Personally, I like, build and ride bikes specifically to relax and take a break from the electronic madness that surrounds our day to day existence.
 
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