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Today April 2024

The "worst" I can hope for are "Dutch mountains" (an ingenious expression I picked up from someone on this forum, although I don't remember whom).
I have called them Dutch Hills here before. My classmate's Dutch father told us they were hills in Holland. She rode her mothers classic Peugeot PX10 to school!
 
An early summary:

A good month, and I'll sub in 3/31st for a rain day tomorrow, to make the data look pretty. (Radar shows rain is almost here.)

So for the last 30 days, 620km over 20 rides, avg 31km per. Just down to and along a river path--same thing all the time. Maybe I'll actually try some climbing later in the season? Not bad for a creaky old 72, and I hope to do as well over the coming months.
 
Maybe it was you, so kudos just in case. Really nice turn-of-phrase. :)
I use this joke regularly. Can't remember where I first heard it. Glad you found it so memorable.

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I am pretty comfortable riding in traffic and don't often get frightened by drivers when on a bike (which I mostly credit to most people's non-aggressive driving style here and partly my own defensive riding style) but on the weekend I did.

I was heading back from pizzeria Ciro in Sakurashinmachi after picking up take-out pizzas for lunch, when I was passed by a white BMW so closely, I thought it was going to knock me off my bike. It passed me on a road near Baji koen with cars coming the other way, the driver just decided to squeeze past anyway. It felt like a matter of centimeters.

I caught up with the driver again (a male probably in his thirties) at the second traffic light, when he was waiting to turn right onto Setagaya dori. I rolled up next to the car in the left turn lane and gave him a long stare until he looked my way. I angrily waved my hands to indicate he should have kept a safe distance between his left side and my bike, then turned away and left.
 
I was heading back from pizzeria Ciro in Sakurashinmachi after picking up take-out pizzas for lunch, when I was passed by a white BMW so closely, I thought it was going to knock me off my bike. It passed me on a road near Baji koen with cars coming the other way, the driver just decided to squeeze past anyway. It felt like a matter of centimeters. […]
Glad you are ok.

Something similar happened to me, too. Usually, I am very calm, but I got very angry that one time. The driver seemed completely oblivious that anything had happened at all. He had to overtake me just as we were passing a parked car. Together. With another car in the second lane. Since I was only 1–2 km/h slower than the traffic, essentially going with the flow, overtaking took him much longer than necessary (he was in a box car, which are not known to be sporty).
 
I rolled up next to the car in the left turn lane and gave him a long stare until he looked my way.
Some years back, my attempt to undertake (at perhaps 5 km/h) a line of cars rolling at perhaps 3 km/h towards a red light along Yoshino kaidō (Ōme) prompted one driver to move his "crossover" (pointlessly 4WD station wagon) to the left (possibly to cut me off), back to the right (possibly to let me through) and to the left again (definitely to cut me off). I got through anyway and turned around and glared at him.

This must have offended his amour propre. He accused me of scraping his car (complete fiction: there'd been no content, and there was no evidence of any scratch made by anyone, ever) and asked me if it was okay to call the police. Stupidly, I assumed that any cop would apply their common sense, and stupidly said yes. There was a very long wait indeed, and a cop eventually turned up. He wanted to hear both sides. My "side" was that this was a non-event and I therefore didn't want to say anything: there was nothing to say, and if I came up with something then this would waste more of his time. The cop had decided that a compromise was in order. So after a waste of yet more time I eventually told Mr Crossover in front of the cop that I regretted having upset him. (This was of course true, because upsetting him had wasted my time.) I resisted the temptation to add "So how about you telling me that you regret having been a prize dick?", or anything at all similar.

I now avoid glaring at drivers. And I understand that the police have zero interest in driving that's dickish or dangerous towards cyclists unless there's an actual collision. (And if there is an actual collision, for all I know the dismounted/injured cyclist is expected to apologize to the driver of the car that ran into them.)

(I also understand that drivers have the freedumbs to watch TV and operate their phones while driving.)
 
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