A Sunday almost in hell : Shuzenji Race Report

m o b

Speeding Up
Jun 22, 2008
341
23
38
Bremen
cyclitis.wordpress.com
#1
God created the earth and after almost finishing his work on the sixth day, he had still quite an amount of hills, slopes, gorges and sharp road turns left in his Lego Earth construction kit. As he spend already quite some time fiddling around with Norwegian Fjords and the like, he just dumped all this stuff in a place called Shuzenji in Japan, erected a high fence around the area and placed warning signs:

" MANKIND! DO NOT ENTER! AND DON'T EVEN THINK OF CYCLING HERE!"

Everything went fine for the next 5 million years or so, then the first Japanese appeared in the place, lost a big war, started economical reconstruction and the time was right for building a splendid cycling track somewhere in the country. Almost naturally the choice felt on Shunzenji.

"Yeah God, what you wrote made very much sense five million years ago, but now we have carbon frames, Shimano Di2 electronic shifters and 98 gram AX lightness calipers for 169.000 Yen a pair. Hm, different picture, right? And by the way we will fully leverage the investment cost with syndicated bundled loans from Lehmann Brothers, convertible of course."

Since then, Japan enjoys the existence of a full fledged bicycling training track which is disguised as a bicycle-themed amusement park. And as the JCRC (Japan Cycling Racing Club Association) decided to hold at least two races a year in their annual championship series there, I need to go there to attend the races.

THIS IS AS CLOSE TO BICYCLE HELL AS IT GETS.

... please continue to read at the Positivo Espresso Blog.
 

Philip

Speeding Up
Feb 15, 2007
765
7
38
Setagaya
#3
Brilliant!

MOB - your humor is as sharp as a razor blade. I cannot believe you are German. Perhaps one of your parents in English?

Congratulations on coming second (from last). I am tempted to join you in the next race - you could get third position!

Philip
 

m o b

Speeding Up
Jun 22, 2008
341
23
38
Bremen
cyclitis.wordpress.com
#4
Thanks for the two encouraging comments.

My father is German and my mother Italian. Or perhaps Austrian. One doesn't know precisely as the borders were moved so many times last century in this area. They met in .... Bradford.

Otherwise the only bound we have to Britain is that my aunt got awarded a MBE some years ago as she was working as a secretary for the British Rhine Army for 40 years. She helped me with my English homeworks in school. I remember the discussion we had when I was about 12 years old and working on my English homework. I had to fill in the appropriate word in the sentence "Help! The house is .... fire!". Working for the army she was insisting on "under" while I was tending to "on".
 

Philip

Speeding Up
Feb 15, 2007
765
7
38
Setagaya
#5
:D:D:D Too funny.

Thanks for the two encouraging comments.

My father is German and my mother Italian. Or perhaps Austrian. One doesn't know precisely as the borders were moved so many times last century in this area. They met in .... Bradford.

Otherwise the only bound we have to Britain is that my aunt got awarded a MBE some years ago as she was working as a secretary for the British Rhine Army for 40 years. She helped me with my English homeworks in school. I remember the discussion we had when I was about 12 years old and working on my English homework. I had to fill in the appropriate word in the sentence "Help! The house is .... fire!". Working for the army she was insisting on "under" while I was tending to "on".
 
Aug 17, 2007
121
0
36
Yotsuya, Tokyo
#6
Pre-supposed Prepositions?

MOB,

Love your descriptions! Great to see someone else who appreciates really witty wit & reads his Douglas Adams to boot! But, I thought Slarty Bartfast sculpted the fjords...;)

BTW, where can I get my hands on a Lego Earth Construction kit?
 

m o b

Speeding Up
Jun 22, 2008
341
23
38
Bremen
cyclitis.wordpress.com
#8
Andrew,

thank you for pointing out the reference to Douglas Adams. The hitch hikers guide to universe used to be so fresh and exciting during the late seventies in small town Germany. I still use slightly modified phrases like "Sayonara, and thanks for all the fish." in daily life, this much particular well fitting for life in Japan.

If there is any chance to get your hands of a Lego earth construction kit, then it should be here. Otherwise I have to pass. Or just go to Shuzenji and take away some of the slopes, nobody will miss them.

Peter,

Shuzenji are two sides of a coin, if I may say so: It is hard to go there and to race on the one side, but it is great to talk and write about it after on the other. Whereas the race lasted only for an hour, I am enjoying the resonances for almost two weeks already.
Otherwise I would like to suggest that the way to hell passes through Gunma CSC. Actually on on October 19th.
 

WhiteGiant

Maximum Pace
Nov 4, 2006
1,192
240
93
Kita-Ueno
#9
Plagiarism...

Original joke by Steven Wright; However as a map fiend, I think I can get away with it:

"I have have a map of Japan that's actual size; it says 'one mile = 1 mile.' People ask me where I live, and I say "E-5"!
No, sorry that was my old address. Now it's B-26!"
I'd like to move to D-14, but it's too expensive.
Not sure where that is on the Lego earth construction kit, but as Dirk Gently says, "I know if I follow the guy in front of me for long enough, I'll eventually arrive at where I need to be".
 
Jan 14, 2007
2,514
213
83
Noda
japanichiban.com
#10
Andrew,

Otherwise I would like to suggest that the way to hell passes through Gunma CSC. Actually on on October 19th.

The way to hell certainly does pass Gunma CSC. I rode very near to there on the way to Hakuba yesterday.

I think I'll give it a try next time. Some relatives living near there so may be able to bum a place to stay. If I'd stayed on R17 I would have ended up there.

Travis,
I'm at D4 right now. (page 146 of one of those gaijin friendly maps). If you follow me here watch out for the bears.